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Parenting a neurodivergent child can have a significant impact on working life. We co-created our Neurodiversity and Parents session with Sascha Evans and have since delivered this session with organisations including Boston Consulting Group, Moody’s and Canopius.

In this guest blog, Giselle Hope, Psychologist and Neurodiversity Workplace Wellbeing Specialist, shares what managers often miss and what genuinely helps parents stay well and productive at work. 

Supporting neurodivergent employees is rightly getting more attention at work. What’s talked about far less is how to support parents of neurodivergent children, even though many are operating under sustained pressure, unpredictability and a high risk of burnout. 

When this pressure isn’t recognised, it often shows up as absence, performance concerns or conflict. When it is recognised early, small, practical adjustments can make a meaningful difference to wellbeing, consistency and retention. 

I’m writing this as a practitioner, but also as a mum of two autistic boys. The hardest part isn’t appointments, it’s unpredictability. You can start a workday with a plan and quickly find yourself pulled into a school meeting, dealing with a crisis call, or managing the impact of a difficult night. 

Managers don’t need every detail. What they do need is an approach that helps someone stay productive without having to choose between parenting and keeping their job. 

This isn’t about special treatment. It’s about reasonable, thoughtful management that recognises reality and enables people to do their best work. 

The hidden load managers don’t always see 

Parents of neurodivergent children often manage pressures that go beyond typical parenting, including frequent school meetings, health or care appointments during working hours, crisis calls, disrupted sleep, ongoing advocacy and significant emotional labour. 

Many parents mask the impact at work until they reach capacity. When that happens, it can look like sudden absence or disengagement. In reality, it’s cumulative strain. 

What this can look like at work 

This pressure may show up as fluctuating energy or concentration, reduced tolerance for last minute changes, anxiety around deadlines, or a drop in confidence rather than capability. Many parents are also reluctant to speak openly because of fear of judgement or pity. 

These patterns reflect load and pressure, not commitment or motivation. A common managerial mistake is reading them as performance issues rather than context issues. 

What this looks like in real workplaces

A parent gets a call to collect their child and asks to step out. This could be perceived as unreliability, so next time they don’t explain what’s happening and the situation escalates. 

After weeks of broken sleep, output dips. The manager pushes the employee, when what the employee actually needs is clearer priorities and reduced noise. 

The employee requests flexibility and once of the team makes a comment that this is unfair. They stop asking, and burnout follows. 

Why this matters for organisations 

There are clear retention and wellbeing benefits to getting neurodiversity and parents support right. There are also legal considerations, including potential risks around discrimination by association, which HR or occupational health teams can advise on. But even before law comes into it, there’s a simple reality. Parents who feel supported stay. Parents who feel penalised often leave quietly, after long periods of over functioning. 

Practical support that actually helps 

• Start with safe, specific conversations that focus on practical impact rather than personal detail 

• Make flexibility predictable rather than relying on ad hoc goodwill 

• Reduce unnecessary cognitive load through clear priorities, written follow up and fewer last minute changes 
• Offer a regular 10-minute check-in during high pressure periods

• Don’t confuse reliability with constant availability. Judge output, not life circumstances 

A simple manager checklist 

• Agree predictable flexibility 

• Confirm priorities regularly 

• Put key instructions in writing 

• Build a short notice plan 

• Additional support during high-pressure times 

• Protect focus time where possible 

Parents of neurodivergent children are often some of the most resourceful people in an organisation. Thoughtful support isn’t charity. It’s how organisations retain talented staff and support them to stay well and effective at work. 

If you’d like to discuss a Neurodiversity and Parents bite sized course for your organisation, contact Eleanor Martin